The Cycle of Addiction, Forced Obligations, and the Culture of Pretending

 

The Cycle of Addiction, Forced Obligations, and the Culture of Pretending

Conceptualized By: Girish J Jain | Drafted By: ChatGPT

The Struggle Between Choice and Compulsion

In today’s world, people find themselves trapped in different ways—some by addiction, others by forced circumstances, and many by a growing culture of pretending. Whether it’s addiction to entertainment, work that one hates, relationships that feel suffocating, or societal normalization of things that can be changed, a deeper connection ties these struggles together.

At the core of it all is the conflict between personal agency and external influence—what we choose, what is forced upon us, and what we convince ourselves to accept. The real danger arises when people stop distinguishing between these and fall into a cycle of self-deception.

1. Addiction and Forced Work: Two Sides of the Same Coin

We often see addiction and forced obligations as separate problems, but they share an underlying theme: loss of control.

Addiction – People willingly sacrifice time, money, and well-being for a compulsion, whether it’s social media, gaming, drugs, or entertainment. They feel in control but are actually enslaved by their desires.

Forced Work/Relationships – People feel trapped in jobs, academic choices, or relationships they don’t want but continue due to financial, societal, or personal pressure. Here, control is taken away from them.

How They Interconnect

One often leads to the other. Someone stuck in a forced job or relationship seeks relief through addiction. At first, the escape seems like freedom—watching endless movies, consuming content, or indulging in habits to feel a momentary sense of control. But soon, the escape itself becomes another prison, making them powerless on both sides.

They are working to survive a life they don’t want and escaping into a world they can’t leave.

2. The Problem of Forced Normalization

In recent times, a growing number of things that can be changed are being normalized, often through social media. While acceptance is important for things beyond one’s control, forced normalization creates a dangerous illusion:

Physical health issues (obesity, preventable conditions) – Instead of encouraging healthy change, some movements push people to simply "accept" lifestyles that could harm them.

Toxic mindsets (victimhood, mediocrity) – Rather than promoting growth, some narratives tell people that any struggle is unfair, discouraging effort and perseverance.

Social expectations (unhealthy relationships, poor work ethics) – Instead of urging people to improve their situations, society sometimes tells them to embrace discomfort as "just the way things are."

Why This Becomes a Trap

People who deep down know they can improve start feeling guilty for wanting change. They see others normalizing their struggle, and instead of pushing themselves, they fall into a habit of pretending—pretending they are okay, pretending they don’t care, pretending their situation is unchangeable.

This is where ego begins to take over.

3. Ego: The Last Barrier to Self-Improvement

Once someone has convinced themselves that their struggle is "normal," they develop a defense mechanism—anger at anyone who suggests otherwise.

Denial – At first, they struggle internally, knowing something isn’t right.
Justification – They find ways to argue why change isn’t necessary.
Defensiveness – If someone challenges their beliefs, they take it as a personal attack.
Anger & Rejection – They lash out at others, calling them "judgmental" or "insensitive."

False Superiority – To protect their ego, they look down on those who do try to change.

Ironically, what starts as insecurity turns into arrogance—not because they truly believe they are better, but because accepting the truth would mean admitting they were wrong all along.

4. The Social Media Effect: Echo Chambers of Pretending

Social media plays a major role in reinforcing these patterns. It creates echo chambers where people only engage with content that supports their current beliefs. This has two major effects:

1. Confirmation Bias – If someone is addicted, trapped, or pretending, they will find online groups that reinforce their mindset, making them feel justified in staying the same.

2. Validation Loops – Platforms reward extreme opinions and behaviors, further solidifying unhealthy narratives. Anyone who challenges them is labeled "toxic" or "negative."

Instead of encouraging growth and self-awareness, social media often pushes comfort and self-delusion.

5. Breaking the Cycle: Awareness and Choice

If people want to escape this loop of addiction, forced obligations, and pretending, they must take back their personal agency:

Recognize the difference between real acceptance and forced normalization. Not everything needs to be changed, but not everything should be accepted either.

Understand when ego is preventing self-improvement. Defensiveness often means there’s an uncomfortable truth underneath.

Seek discomfort over easy validation. Growth requires struggle, and the right path is rarely the comfortable one.

Be mindful of echo chambers. Engage with different perspectives, especially the ones that challenge personal beliefs.

Ofcourse, The Choice is Yours

At the heart of this issue is a fundamental question: Do you want to live in reality or in a comfortable illusion?

It’s easy to get addicted to distractions, stay stuck in obligations, and pretend things are okay because that’s what society normalizes. But deep down, you know the truth. And the truth is, change is possible—but only if you choose it.

…a message to those who feel stuck: 

You Have More Power Than You Think

If you’ve read this far, something inside you already knows the truth. Maybe it’s a quiet thought that you’ve been pushing away for years, or a feeling you’ve buried beneath distractions and routines. Maybe it’s something you tell yourself late at night, when no one else is watching, before the noise of the world convinces you otherwise.

Whatever it is—listen to it.

Because that voice, that thought, that feeling? It’s trying to save you.

The Hardest Thing to Do is to Look in the Mirror

It’s easy to blame circumstances, society, or other people for why things are the way they are. And sometimes, those things do play a role. But the moment you start believing that you have no choice, no power, no ability to change—that’s when you truly become trapped.

The truth is, you are not powerless.

You are not meant to just "accept" a life that makes you unhappy.

You are not here to merely exist, going through the motions, pretending that things are fine when they aren’t.

But here’s the part that’s difficult to accept: changing your life starts with accepting your own role in where you are now.

That’s a hard pill to swallow, isn’t it?

Because it means looking in the mirror and saying:

I let this habit take control of me.
I’ve made excuses instead of taking action.
I’ve avoided the truth because it was easier to pretend.

I’ve been afraid of change because it means stepping into the unknown.

It hurts to admit these things. But you know what’s even worse?

Spending the rest of your life lying to yourself.

The World Will Try to Comfort You—But You Don’t Need Comfort. You Need Change.

Society will tell you, “It’s okay, don’t be too hard on yourself. Just accept things as they are.” And while self-love and acceptance are important, there is a dangerous trap in blindly accepting things that can and should be changed.

You don’t have to accept a body that makes you unhealthy.
You don’t have to accept a job that drains your soul.
You don’t have to accept habits that waste your time and steal your energy.

You don’t have to accept a mindset that keeps you weak.

What you need is not more validation—but more courage to admit what needs to be fixed.

Facing the Truth Doesn’t Make You Weak—It Makes You Free.

Maybe no one has ever told you this before, so let me be the first:

You are capable of change.
You are not stuck.

You don’t have to be who you were yesterday.

Every great transformation begins with a single decision: to stop lying to yourself.

And here’s something beautiful—once you take that first step, you will realize that the person you were always meant to be has been waiting for you this whole time.

Start Today—Because "Someday" Never Comes

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need a perfect plan. You don’t need to wait for the "right time."

You just need to start.

One choice.
One step.

One moment of honesty with yourself.

And from there, the rest will follow.

So, are you ready?
Not to "feel better."
Not to "accept what is."

But to truly, finally, change?

Because if you are, this is your moment.

And if you take it—if you choose to face the truth, to break free from the cycle, to stop pretending—then one day, you’ll look back at this moment and realize...

This was the day your real life began.